Wisdom Heart

Erin at Nova's Heart and Poetic Acceptance has posted regarding the thoughts I put here yesterday. She adds the perspective of a parent who has lost children to CHDs. I am really happy to know that my experience is not uncommon. Thanks for the comments. And thanks to Erin for her post.
I feel compelled to share this Buddhist parable. It seems to be appropriate for this discussion, and though it is Buddhist, it has universal meaning. I have excerpted it from a book titled "Preparing for Death and Helping the Dying: A Buddhist Perspective" by Sangye Khadro it is available in PDF form here. This is of course just one perspective on death. There are useful stories in many traditions conveying similarly helpful ideas.

The Buddha imparted the teaching on the inevitability
of death in a very skilful way to one of his disciples,
Kisa Gotami. Kisa Gotami was married and
had a child who was very dear to her heart. When
the child was about one year old, he became ill and
died. Overcome with grief and unable to accept the
death of her child, Kisa Gotami took him in her arms
and went in search of someone who could bring him
back to life. Finally she met the Buddha, and begged
him to help her. The Buddha agreed, and asked her
to bring him four or five mustard seeds, but they
had to be obtained from a house where no one had
ever died.
Kisa Gotami went from house to house in the
village, and although everyone was willing to give
her some mustard seeds, she was unable to find a
house where death had not occurred. Gradually she
realized that death happened to everyone, so she
returned to the Buddha, buried her child and become
one of his followers. Under his guidance, she was
able to attain Nirvana, complete freedom from the
cycle of birth and death.
People may fear that accepting and thinking
about death will make them morbid, or spoil their
enjoyment of life's pleasures. But surprisingly, the opposite
is true. Denying death makes us tense; accepting
it brings peace. And it helps us become aware of
what is really important in life, for example, being
kind and loving to others, being honest and unselfish,
so that we will put our energy into those things
and avoid doing what would cause us to feel fear and
regret in the face of death.